Trying Not To Love You
by Dramione Forever
Summary: Blaine slid the key into the lock of his apartment door and gently pushed it open. He took the bag off his shoulders and let it drop to the floor before he closed the door behind him. His face broke out into a smile when he heard the music blasting from the speakers in the room. AU from 4x06. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

**Trying Not To Love You**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the characters they belong to Ryan Murphy and Fox.**

**Chapter One**

Blaine slid the key into the lock of his apartment door and gently pushed it open. He took the bag off his shoulders and let it drop to the floor before he closed the door behind him. His face broke out into a smile when he heard the music blasting from the speakers in the room.

"Hey, I'm home," he shouted, hoping it was loud enough to be heard over the music and gain attention from his friend.

Suddenly his friend ran out of the living room and immediately jumped into his arms giving him a massive hug. He is winded by the force of impact but he returns the hug.

"Hey B you're home early tonight," she said, the words muffled against his chest.

He laughed softly at her muffled comment.

"I missed you too Mer," he said.

They slowly untangled themselves from each other, she pulled the scarf from his neck and began to fold it up. He watched her silently before turning and throwing his keys into the basket on the hallway table.

He looked across at her and absentmindedly runs a hand through his dark curls

"Please tell me you are not entertaining Michael tonight as I am beat and in need of some rest and relaxation with my best friend," he said smiling at her. She glared at him for a minute then shook her head and grabbed his hand, pulling him into the living room.

"I have told you a million times B. Me and Michael are history," she said turning to look back at her best friend. Immediately Blaine rolled his eyes and he watched as Meredith grabbed the remote for the stereo.

Blaine sunk into the sofa happily. His muscles ached from his dance class. He had nearly fallen asleep numerous times on the way home and in the end he had bought himself an espresso to wake himself back up. He heard Meredith skipping through the songs on the stereo on one of her made up CDs. Suddenly an all too familiar tune flooded the room and he groaned.

"What have I told you about playing Katy Perry songs? Especially this one as it is one of her worst. I hate her music Mer, you know that."

She giggled as she began to sing along with the track enjoying tormenting him. Blaine closed his eyes as unwanted memories came into his head.

"Come on B. No one can hate this track it's so perfect. I am going to convert you one day as no one can hate Katy Perry their whole life," she said passionately. Blaine rolled his eyes "You want to bet?" he replied bitterly.

He watched his best friend as she began to dance along to his once all time favourite song, Teenage Dream. If only you knew the truth, he thought silently. When they first met in the library after Blaine almost knocked Meredith over, they immediately connected and ended up spending a whole hour discussing music. When it was time for Meredith to leave, she carefully slipped him her number. Blaine had turned red and quickly mumbled that he was gay. Meredith had simply laughed.

"I know that Blaine, I could tell," she had said. She smiled at him and he immediately relaxed. "I just thought we could both use a friend," she said. He nodded and took the number.

After the second week, they had moved into together. Blaine was forced to tell Meredith all about his past after she had found his Kurt box, but he had never mentioned to her their relationship's special connection with Katy Perry. Instead when Meredith first played a Katy Perry song he had politely asked her to turn it off stating that he hated her music.

Suddenly the chorus kicked in which drew him out of his thoughts and back to the present. He looked over to see Meredith dancing happily away to the music, suddenly she turned to look at him and smiled at him. She held out her hand in an silent invitation. Immediately he shook his head.

"Come dance with me B, you know you want to," she pleaded with him.

He sighed in reply.

"I have been dancing all day Mer," he reminded her. She pouted and he began to laugh.

"What if I make dinner tonight and it is entirely your choice?" she teased. He smirked at her.

"You definitely know how to tempt someone don't you?" he said as he got up from the couch and stalked over to her.

She shrugged her shoulders as he grabbed her waist and pulled in closer. He grinned at her.

"I have my ways. Plus I need my best dance partner tonight," she said sadly, her voice trembling a little betraying her calm composure. Blaine looked down at her and realised that she had been crying again. Slowly the pair began to sway together to the music. Blaine sighed he could see that Meredith was struggling.

"Have you tried talking to him Mer?" he asked, gently staring into her eyes.

Tears began to form in Meredith's eyes as she quickly shook her head. He raked a hand through his curls and sighed again; at a loss of what advice to give to his best friend. He hated to see her hurting so badly like this and not for the first time since the break up, he cursed Michael and his stupidity. Blaine had want to hit Michael when he first found out what he had done to Meredith, but she had managed to calm him down and talk him out of that foolish action.

After all he had no right to judge really; he had done the same thing to Kurt two years ago which had ultimately cost him the love of his life. He closed his eyes and the memories began to seep back in. The loneliness he had felt at the distance between them, the hurt at the missed or rejected calls and Skype dates, followed by the hard realisation that he was losing Kurt.

Blaine did not understand what he had hooked with Eli that night some random guy he had found through Facebook. The guy had meant nothing to him and two years later he still did not know why he had done what he did. He still wished that he could turn back time and stop himself from replying to that Facebook message and messing everything up. There was nothing he could do about it now and he still could not change it however much he wanted to, he could not take it back.

She saw the concentration and watched as the different emotions flickered across his face. He was thinking about his past again and about Kurt; she just knew he was.

"You are thinking about Kurt again aren't you?" she asked gently as she stared up at him. He smiled at her question, she had developed an uncanny sixth sense since they had become friends as she always seemed to know what he was thinking.

"Yes," he simply replied.

"Don't you dare compare yourself to Michael, Blaine," she said rather harshly. He looked at her and frowned.

"You did not set out to deliberately hurt Kurt and you never flaunted your new relationship in his face just to be spiteful to him," she continued.

Blaine shook his head at her words.

"I did hurt him though Mer. God, I will never forgot how heartbroken he looked when I told him what I had done. That memory will haunt me forever," he said.

She was silent as she thought over what he said.

"You made a mistake Blaine. Yes a very stupid one, but you knew that you had made a mistake and you came clean right away when you realised what you had done. But Michael never gave me that courtesy," she replied bitterly. Instantly Blaine pulled her into a hug as tears began to flow more freely down her face as she finally allowed herself to break down in his arms.

He gently rubbed her back to soothe her and once more thought of killing Michael entered his head.

"It's okay to be okay Mer, we will get through this together" he said gently kissing the top of her head. She bit her lip unsure but she looked up at him and offered him a small smile. "Thank you Blaine for being such a great friend and my rock," she said as she began to wipe the tears and streaked mascara from her face.

"I must look dreadful and an absolute mess," she protested as she pulled out of his embrace. Meredith offered him a small smile "I will be right back," she said softly. Meredith then turned and began to walk out of the living room heading in direction of the bathroom.

**Author Note: This is my first glee fanfic story and my first Blaine and Kurt story. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I would like to thank my amazing beta Gleeeeeful for betaing this chapter if you have not checked out her stories please do so :-). Please read and review, I love hearing feedback from my readers. Thanks Dra**


	2. Chapter 2

**Trying Not To Love You**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the characters they belong to Ryan Murphy and Fox.**

**Chapter Two**

Blaine turned and surveyed the room for the first time; he took in the little details he had missed earlier, the half eaten tub of ice cream and the stack of romantic movies lying on the coffee table along with the box of tissues. It seemed like his best friend had sunk lower than he had first suspected and she really was struggling more than he knew. His class ending early today may just turn out to be a blessing for him.

Suddenly, he heard the tap turn off in the bathroom and Meredith re-entered the living room with a towel in her hands. She offered him a small smile but the smile falls when she noticed the worried gaze in his eyes. Her gaze quickly landed on the coffee table where the half eaten tub of ice creams lay along with the stack of DVDs and the box of tissues. She hung her head in shame.

"I planned to stash those away before you got home," she admitted guiltily.

Blaine held his hands up in the air in an act of surrender and stared across at her.

"Mer, I am not judging you at all. Whatever helps you heal as I just want my best friend back," he said softly and smiled at her.

"For the record though,_ Titanic _is much better than _A Walk to Remember _," he teased her, hoping to lift her mood a little. Suddenly and without warning she threw the towel at him, which he only mildly managed to dodge.

"You will pay for that comment Anderson," she taunted him as she folded her arms and glared across at him. Blaine smirked back at her "Bring it on, Hart," he replied confidently.

They stood for a few moments in complete silence on opposite sides of the room, mock-glaring at each other. Blaine suddenly laughed; breaking the tension in the room and Meredith smiled before quickly crossing the room and pulling Blaine into a hug.

"You always know just how to make me feel better," she stated happily.

Blaine raised an eyebrow at her comment and smirked at her once more.

"If I recall correctly Miss Hart, I am your perfect man," he said, taunting her by bringing up their favourite inside joke.

Meredith pulled back and stared at him. She could feel her face starting to turn red as it did every time he mentioned it.

"You are going to hold that over my head for eternity aren't you?" she asked him. Blaine did not reply, choosing to remain silent.

"How many times do I need to say it?" she asked him. He simply smiled at her.

"My mother did not know that you were gay when I first told her about living with you or us being friends for that matter," she muttered but then she began to giggle as she thought back on that particular memory.

They had just moved in the apartment two weeks before Thanksgiving and Blaine had insisted that they invite her family over to the apartment. She knew that he had no plans to spend his first Thanksgiving in Boston with his family due to his parents being away and his brother working on set for a TV show, so he insisted they invite hers instead. He knew that her mother was dying to see the new apartment and that her father simply wanted to meet him. He also knew that her older sister was home for the first time in a few years and she was also curious about the new apartment. He said that it would be the perfect opportunity for him to meet her family and it would kill two birds with one stone.

Meredith had flat out refused but Blaine had slowly managed to convince her, so she invited her family and they booked their flight the following day to save themselves money and hassle. Blaine had managed to buy a turkey with the usual trimmings and insisted on her allowing him to cook so he could make a good impression. Her one and only job had been to set the table.

She had been snooping around in Blaine's CD collection when she came across a Michael Buble CD, she quickly put it on and pressed play. Her favourite song came on and she began to dance around the table as she set it, allowing herself to finally relax as 'Haven't Met You Yet' played in the background. She heard Blaine humming along as he worked in the kitchen.

An hour later and the doorbell rang and Meredith quickly double-checked her appearance in the hallway mirror. Blaine ran from the kitchen looking as perfect as ever to help her greet her family at the door. She had been so nervous and she knew without Blaine there constantly reassuring her with his hand on her back, she never would have been able to go through with it.

Blaine had been the perfect gentleman, taking her mother and her sister's coats and complimented them on their appearance. He then turned and shook her father's hand with ease. Meredith smiled when she saw how impressed her parents were by Blaine and she knew in that moment that her fears had been stupid. Blaine caught her eye and sent her a quick cheeky wink before he turned and escorted her mother and sister to their seats.

The dinner was delicious and Meredith was astounded by how Blaine had managed to engage her family in different conversations. He talked football with her father, as her father had mentioned her brother Shawn was also at university playing ball. He talked cooking with her mother, telling her some of his favourite recipes, then debated music with her sister. She saw the way her older sister Sarah stared at him and Meredith gently shook her head. If only she knew she had thought to herself.

All the dishes had been cleared away and they were all enjoying coffee and biscuits when the incident happened.

"You know Blaine you really are the perfect man for Meredith and will make a wonderful husband someday," her mother announced. Meredith instantly choked and spluttered into her coffee at the sudden remark. She had not mentioned Blaine's sexuality to her parents or her sister deciding it was none of their business and this had been the last thing she had expected.

Meredith had quickly shot Blaine an apologetic look but he shook his head, telling her in his own way that she did not have to worry about it. He had set his coffee down on the table and ran a hand nervously through his dark curls and stared across at her parents.

"I am afraid that won't be possible Mrs Hart," he said gently. Her mother had drawn Blaine a confused look.

"Why not? Our daughter is smart and beautiful," her father retorted - unable to comprehend how a man could not love his youngest daughter and his perfect little girl.

Blaine had nodded at all her father's words and shot her a small smile across the room.

"I agree Sir, she is that and so much more. Your daughter is an amazing person and my best friend," he said slowly.

"What's the problem then? We are not telling you to marry her today son," her father replied. Meredith slowly began to turn red from embarrassment at her parent's constant badgering of Blaine. She wished she had told her parents to avoid this whole awkward situation. She felt so sorry for him that he had to endure this on her behalf and she doubted he would still want to be her friend after tonight.

She watched as Blaine took a deep breath and smiled across at her parents. He showed no anger or irritation at their badgering; he seemed totally calm, like he had gone through this countless times before.

"The thing is Mr. and Mrs. Hart, I am actually gay and I have known since the age of fourteen," he explained gently.

She saw her parents exchange embarrassed looks and Meredith closed her eyes; expecting some sort of backlash and was surprised when none came. Then her parents both apologised to Blaine who smiled and simply shook it off.

Later that night as her parents left, they hugged her and praised Blaine - knowing now that he would do his best to look after her. Blaine and her mother had promised to exchange recipes soon and her father had invited Blaine along to one of Shawn's football games, both invitations being quickly accepted by Blaine. When Sarah had hugged Blaine on the way out, she also slid her number into his shirt pocket and winked at him.

Meredith had launched into an explanation as soon as her parents were out the door, but Blaine had shook off her feeble apologies and simply hugged her. They had laughed about it afterwards and it became their running inside joke, which only drew them closer. Suddenly Blaine gently shook her shoulder, which drew her out of the old memory.

"Come on Mer, let's gets some proper food in you as that…" he said pointing over at the half eaten ice cream tub,"does not count as proper food, although I admire your effort," he said.

He grabbed her hand and dragged her into the kitchen where Blaine quickly donned his apron as she slid onto one of the stool at the breakfast counter.

"What do you fancy?" he asked her as he began to set up his equipment.

She frowned at him for a minute, confused due to their earlier deal.

"I thought you wanted me to cook?" she said. He glared at her in reply and folded his arms.

"After the French toast debacle, you are not cooking in my kitchen again as I don't have a death wish," he retorted as he grinned at her.

Suddenly Meredith laughed and nodded in understanding.

"How about Italian?" she asked as her eyes sparkled as she thought of her favourite dish of Blaine's.

"My special carbonara coming right up," he replied as he read her mind.

Blaine quickly set to work. Meredith watched him content and relaxed as she thought of the amazing meal they had ahead of them. Blaine's food had become comfort food for her and after the day she had experienced today, she definitely needed some comfort food.

**Author Note: This is Chapter Two and I hope you all enjoying reading this chapter. I am really enjoying writing this story. I would like to thank Gleeeeeful once more for betaing for me and once more if you have not checked out her stories yet please do so :-). Please read and review as I love hearing feedback from my readers. Thanks Dra.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Trying Not To Love You**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the characters they belong to Ryan Murphy and Fox.**

**Chapter Three**

Forty minutes later, they were both sitting on the sofa digging into Blaine's special carbonara. Meredith moaned in delight as she ate her second spoonful.

"You really need to give me the recipe to this or at least give it to my mother so that she can make it for when I get home," she said after swallowing her third mouthful.

Blaine rolled his eyes at her not so subtle hints.

"I have told you before and I will tell you again, my recipes will forever remain secret. Or at least to you for obvious reasons," he teased her. She glared at him as he referred to the French toast disaster once more.

"It was one time and I had been up all night studying for exams. It would never have happened if you were here but someone had dawn dance rehearsals," she whined, which caused Blaine to laugh.

Suddenly he smirked at her and she knew one thing; that look meant trouble.

"You will be pleased to hear that I did give your mother the recipe, but she is under strict instructions to show you nothing so you will be able to have it when you go home next week," he told her. Instantly, without warning, she began to playfully attack him.

"Traitor!" she said, annoyed. Blaine offered no resistance to her attack as he was too busy laughing at her feeble attempts at hitting him.

Immediately, she picked up the cushion at the side of her and began to hit up with that instead.

"I knew I should never have allowed you and my mother to be Facebook friends," she grumbled as she began to attack him once more with renewed strength. Blaine gently shoved her and they both tumbled ending up in a heap on the floor.

They were both panting heavily caused by all the laughing and play fighting. Blaine had ended up on top of her and within kissing distance.

"You know if anyone came in they might assume we were up to something," she whispered then she began to giggle. He smirked down at her with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"So what if they did… It would be fun especially if it was Michael," he whispered back. She snorted in laughter as that peculiar image came into her head.

"I would love to see the look on his face as I have no doubt it would be picture-worthy," she replied and smiled at him slightly.

Blaine nodded and raised his hand slowly to sweep the hair from her face. He smiled at her once more.

"He would probably try and rearrange your pretty face," she said teasing him. He chuckled in reply.

"I would love to see him try. He ain't got nothing on me babe," he proclaimed, confident in his fighting skills.

Meredith rolled her eyes at the overconfident tone in his voice.

"Sure thing, Superman," she said as she gently clapped him on the shoulder. He stared deeply into her eyes.

"I was actually a superhero named Nightbird one week in Glee, but I don't see what is wrong with giving my plan a shot," he remarked.

She stared at him in disbelief unable to take in what she was hearing, this was crazy.

"Point one, Blaine you're gay. And point two, it would be awkward and confusing for the both of us," she explained. She could not believe she was having this conversation with Blaine of all people.

Blaine smirked at her once more and the mischievous glint returned once more to this eyes.

"Michael doesn't know that those and it might just make the stupid ape realise what he has lost," he said.

"I am not suggesting anything hot and heavy…" he cringed as those words came out of his mouth and Meredith giggled at the expression on his face.

"I am merely suggesting a few moves, embraces and some chaste kisses. I think that will be enough to make him realise exactly how much of a idiot he has been and I would consider it an acting role," he continued, trying his best to convince her.

She sighed as she leaned back and began to consider his kind offer. It was mighty tempting; after all, Michael had hurt her badly and she did want to get back at him so badly. But she knew that using Blaine in this way was not the way to do it. He watched her and knew that she was thinking it over and he realised in that moment, he wanted her to say yes so he could teach that love-rat a lesson as no-one messed with his girl and got away with it.

Blaine had never liked Michael as he felt Meredith deserved so much better but he remained silent because she was happy and that was all Blaine had ever wanted; for her to be happy. She caught Blaine's eye and smiled at him. Suddenly she caught him off-guard when she pulled him into a hug. When she looked back over her fights with Michael, she realised that most of them had been about Blaine.

Michael had hated seeing them so close and had even gone so far once to suggest that Blaine was only pretending to be her friend so he could sleep with her. Meredith had slapped him and immediately threw him out. Afterwards, she collapsed in a heap and cried her eyes out and that was exactly how Blaine found her hours later.

He had pulled her into a hug and gently wiped away her tears, telling her that she was too good for Michael and he did not deserve her. She pulled herself out of the memory, she really had no idea what she would do without Blaine. He was the most amazing best friend and support system that she could ask for.

"Now get off me you big lump," she said softly pulling out of their hug. He smiled as he slowly got to his feet and began to dust himself down.

Blaine immediately held out for her and Meredith took the outstretched hand gratefully.

"The plan won't work B. Plus I am no Rachel Berry," she teased him, referring to his last indiscretion in High School before he knew for sure that he was definitely gay. Blaine smiled at her and let the remark slide.

"Just think about it Mer, you know I would love to pull one over on him," he replied. She nodded her head.

"Sure thing Blainers," she said without thinking.

It happened so suddenly, he froze and his face drained of colour. He shuddered as all the old memories came rushing back. Blaine took a few deep breaths in and out in a bid to calm his raising panic as the images began to flash through his head one by one.

"Shit B….., I am sorry it slipped, I just wasn't thinking," she began to stammer her apologies as she realised exactly what she had done. Instantly she began to reach for him, but he flinched back from her at the sudden movement.

He smiled at her but she could see that it was forced; she knew him too well by now.

"It's okay Mer - honest. I am just going to clear the dishes then head to bed as we are being called in at dawn again tomorrow," he mumbled quickly. He roughly rubbed his face as he moved to pick up the remains of their long forgotten dinner.

"Let me help you with those B," she pleaded trying to make up for her slip of the tongue.

"No," he said a little harsher than he intended. He gulped, taking in a deep breath, then gently let it out.

"It's okay Mer, just go back to watching the rest of the movie," he said wearily, offering her a small smile.

She simply nodded knowing that she would not to talk him around when he was like this. She bit her lip worriedly, as she watched him slowly retreat to the kitchen. Meredith cursed herself for her stupidity, thanks to a stupid and thoughtless slip of the tongue she had gone and hurt her best friend. After a few hours of sitting on the sofa alone, Meredith gave up and switched off the movie. She had been too preoccupied to watch it, her gaze continually falling on Blaine's locked bedroom door.

Immediately after he had done the dishes, he had retreated into his room, locking the door behind him without a word. She ran a hand through her straggled hair and sighed loudly. She should just go to bed she thought as she slowly rose to her feet. They had both done this many times since they had moved in together; it was their mutual understanding that sometimes they just needed their own space, but she had never had the cause of it.

Gently, Meredith closed her bedroom door behind her and slumped against it. They had a few fights but never like this. Their fights were normally over silly stuff like the cooking, laundry, or grocery shopping. Neither of them had hurt the other like she had done tonight; they were too close for that. She felt terrible and even though she could not see him, she knew what he would be thinking about and it was all her fault.

Meredith sighed. She wanted to do nothing more than to run to Blaine's room, kick the door down and grovel in apology to him. But she knew that in this moment in time, she would do him more harm than good. She knew he needed his space and some time to clear his head away from her. Slowly, Meredith got to her feet and walked over to her bedside table to set her alarm for the next morning.

She climbed into bed and quickly pulled the duvet cover over her, seeking the warmth that the layers would provide her as she laid her head onto the pillow. A thousand thoughts ran through her mind all at once; all of them about Blaine. It was pointless to be thinking about it now. She only hoped that she would be able to fix all this in the morning, if Blaine allowed her.

**Author Note: This is chapter three, I hope you all enjoyed reading it. I would like to take a moment to thank everyone that has followed this story so far and favourited it, I really appreciate it. I would also like to thank Kklever and Rori Potter for the reviews they gave me on this story. I really enjoyed writing this chapter, thanks once more to Gleeeeeful for being such an amazing beta. Please read and review. Thanks Dra**


	4. Chapter 4

**Trying Not To Love You**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the characters they belong to Ryan Murphy and Fox.**

**Chapter Four**

Meredith rose the next morning to find her alarm had not gone off and that she was now an hour late for class. She cursed as she jumped out of her bed and ran to get ready. When she was finally dressed, she took a quick glance into Blaine's room to find him already gone. It was then that she remembered him mentioning the dawn dance rehearsals which meant that her grovelling would have to wait until later. She only hoped that she would catch him on campus for lunch and actually get a chance to talk to him.

Blaine frowned as he watched the teacher repeat the routine once more. Normally he picked up the steps quite quickly, falling into sync with the teacher within minutes, but today he was doing nothing right and messing up on even the simplest steps in the choreography. He had always been good at dance and since coming to Boston University he had become one of the top dancers in the class, but he was finding today particularly hard.

He knew that it was the fight with Meredith last night which was causing him to lose his concentration and he was losing himself in the dance as he normally did. The fight had caused all the old painful memories to come flooding back. The Sadie Hawkins Dance taunts as he was getting hit and kicked, the pain, the slushie being poured all over him, Dalton. Lastly, the most painful all, were all the memories of Kurt.

When he had finally graduated and gone to Boston, he made himself banish his past and focus on the future. Blaine knew that regardless of his feelings that there was no point in looking back. It only caused him more pain. Instead he chose to forget all the memories - good and bad - and focus only on the opportunities that the future would bring.

After high school, the glee kids had all gradually drifted apart and all the Warblers were scattered in the wind. When he had first started college, he tried to keep in touch with Sam but despite their efforts even they had lost touch. It hurt at the time but in hindsight, he realised that the rest of the glee club never really saw him as their friend but as Kurt's boyfriend so when he and Kurt broke up, they took Kurt's side.

They had been polite to him but only just, none of them noticed how he fell to pieces after the breakup. He never blamed them; after all Tina, Brittany and Artie had been Kurt's friends first and Blaine had never grown that close to the new kids. Marley had tried at first but then she got caught up in her drama with Jake, Kitty and Ryder and in the end he had been swept to the side.

The rest of them were just too caught up in their lives. Although they had all tried at first, after some time he was simply ignored. Finn had taken Kurt's side as he had expected him to; he hadn't been cold to him just indifferent. But he was Kurt's brother, so it did not come as much of a surprise because he had cheated on Kurt. Only Sam seemed to notice that he was not coping well - only he noticed that Blaine was falling apart. After high school eventually their friendship crumbled due to the distance since Blaine had come to Boston and Sam had settled in LA.

Blaine knew in his heart the day that he boarded the train to Boston that he was officially saying goodbye to Lima. He had nothing left there now. A bunch of memories and even bigger regrets. When they had broken up, Kurt had said he did not trust him and that Lima no longer felt like home. It had devastated Blaine when he heard those words. When he had boarded that train, he had understood what Kurt had been saying - Lima would never be home again.

Blaine had tried to contact Kurt after hearing those words many times, but after being ignored for so long, he eventually gave up. Blaine gave Kurt time and space to heal in the vain hope that he would come back to him. He remembered at graduation that he had searched the auditorium, thinking that perhaps Kurt had come but that vain hope was dashed when he realised that Kurt was not among the crowd.

Afterwards he had ducked out of the after party feigning sickness and later that night he had boarded the train heading towards Boston for early orientation. A few hours later he had texted Sam to let him know that he had left. He had apologised for leaving early, but explained that at graduation he realised that Lima was no longer home to him.

It was that night that he realised that Lima had never really been home; Kurt had been his home but that had burnt to the ground and turned to ash.

"Anderson put your back into it. Come on - one, two, three," his instructor Mr. Lorenzo barked, drawing him back into the present. He took a long deep breath and ran a hand through his sweat drenched curls.

After high school he surrendered in the battle against his hair, only gelling when he felt he really needed it otherwise most of the time he left it natural. This morning he had felt too tired to gel it, having been up the entire night. Instead he simply splashed some water on his face to wake himself up then grabbed a granola bar before running out the door in order to get to rehearsals on time.

Blaine burst into the studio having ran most of the way from his apartment. He took a few minutes to catch his breath and that was when he had noticed that his dance partner for the day, Chloe, was walking over to him. He straightened up slightly and put a smile on his face, but he knew that he must look a complete mess. She returned his smile with one of her own.

The morning session was gruelling and he made thousands of mistakes throughout the choreography, so he was elated when Mr. Lorenzo clapped his hands and told them that they were all done for the day. Blaine briskly walked over to where his bag lay, he grabbed his water from the bag then took a good drink in order to quench his dried throat.

Someone tapped him on the shoulder and he spun around quickly to see Chloe standing before him. She smiled at him as he lowered the water bottle from his lips.

"Are you okay Blaine? It's just... you seemed a little distracted today and you made a lot of mistakes today, which is unlike you considering you're the best dancer in this class," she asked, clearly worried about him. Blaine laughed and Chloe frowned at him.

"I am by no means the best dancer in here. You are miles better than me, in both your grace and technique. You're like a swan when you dance," he said complimenting her.

She blushed at his words of praise, turning practically pink.

"Thanks Blaine. I don't think that is really true but thank you for saying it anyway," she replied politely.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here for you," she explained. He nodded his head in understanding.

"Thank you Chloe, I will keep that in mind," he said. She smiled at him.

She lightly touched his arm in a small sign of comfort.

"I will see you tomorrow Blaine, Please try and get some rest tonight," she said softly. He nodded again and she gave him another small smile before she picked up her bag and ran for the studio door.

Suddenly Blaine blinked realised that he was the last one here. The dance studio was eerily silent. He sighed and began to pack up his stuff. The afternoon sun shone brightly over the entire courtyard. It had turned out to be another beautiful winter's day despite the bitter wind blowing. Blaine looked down at his watch and frowned. It was now lunchtime so she should be coming here.

He ran a hand through his hair nervously as he scanned the courtyard, trying to find her in the massive crowd. Blaine hated being at odds with her and he knew that she meant no malicious intent by use of the nickname. It still stung and it brought all the flashbacks of that terrible night flooding back to him. Blaine had told Meredith about the Sadie Hawkin's incident one night when they had stupidly gotten drunk.

By the end of the night, he had been crying in her arms telling her all about the worst night of his life. Meredith was the only person that knew; he had only ever told one other person about it, but that was all in the past now. His eyes finally landed on her sitting alone in the middle of the courtyard. Blaine smiled as he began to make his way over to her. He wanted to make this stupid argument right with her as soon as possible, he just wanted his friend back.

Suddenly Blaine stopped when he realised that Meredith was distracted. She kept glancing to her left and he could tell from the tension in her body that she was upset. He frowned as he was sure that he had gone unnoticed so he knew it was not his presence that was upsetting her. He gazed over to the left trying to see what had caused her this much distress.

Finally his eyes landed on Michael and who he assumed to be Michael new girlfriend sitting at a table surrounded by all Michael's friends. They had once been Meredith's friends too. The couple were wrapped securely around each other and were currently engaging in a heavy make out session. Blaine felt anger begin to rise in his chest at the sight in front of him.

It was clear that from the way Michael was behaving that he did not care who saw him. Blaine really hated Michael and he had done so since the moment he had met him. This just proved Blaine's point that he was a utter jerk and he had been right about him all along. He clenched his hands into fists as thoughts of hitting Michael entered his head. His temper was rising and he was strongly considering those thoughts and he wanted to nothing better than teach Michael a lesson.

**Author note: Here is chapter four, I hope you all enjoyed reading this. Thank you to all the wonderful people who are reading this and also to all the wonderful people reviewing this, I really appreciate all the support. Please read and review. Thanks once more to the amazing gleeeeeful for betaing this chapter for me. **

**This will probably be the last update until after Christmas so Merry Christmas everyone.**


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